I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
