just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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