If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
