It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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