I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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