Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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