hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize