please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
