he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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