why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think a kid would responsible me up
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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