perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
