YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
