Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
