I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
