ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
