he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
