At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dignity is for republicans.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
