i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize