Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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