just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
