booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
