have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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