Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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