Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I touched a dick in church today
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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