So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
