I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am midnight drunk by noon
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
