reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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