Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My vagina just recognized that song.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
