I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
