I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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