I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just google imaged poop.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
