Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
