My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
