and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize