your room smells of hookers.
And success
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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