I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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