is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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