"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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