i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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