in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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