yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
