I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize