Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
