didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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