Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
