Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
