it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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