My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My liver is preforming stress tests.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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