That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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