Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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