I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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