I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not a walk of shame if you run
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
