So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think I won the penis lottery.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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