so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize