fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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