i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
