Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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