I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
