The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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