if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
