since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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