We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
