i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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