Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
