I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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