I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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