Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
