haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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